Well. My life has been nuts lately. I hope yours is going much more swimmingly.
I'm a week and two days from graduating and it's still surreal. The closer I get to that day the less I sleep at night. I'm not sure if my body is rejecting the idea of adulthood, or if I'm so overwhelmed by the idea of adulthood. Either way adulthood is looming and it's scary, but I'm prepared to stumble soberly into it as best as I can.
I've been a busy busy bee designing and working and schooling and socializing. It's been quite a few weeks. But the greatest of news is that I am the official owner of my first Mac - and iMac to be exact and although I'm sure my parents might not have faith in my ability to pay for it in an orderly fashion it's my goal to pay it off before I even need it to be. I'm ready for this small responsibility and if anything it will push me to grin and bear design jobs I don't want, if only to gain experience and money from it so I can pay it off.
I'm ready to be a big kid. I'm ready to live out my dream life and I'm prepared to do whatever grunt work I need to do to have it. Bri Emery didn't wake up with all her majestic belongings on the day she started her first job. Duh. My room may still be a mess majority of the time and I may eat McDonald's for lunch but I'm happy and content with my life right now - no matter how much I want to cry sometimes.
In other, and maybe even embarrassing news, I have ventured into online dating. It was last week at 3 a.m. that I stumbled upon the idea and here I am. It's just so hard to meet people at school that I would actually even be friends with, much less date. And my day-job is for soccer moms that need birthday presents so again, it's hard to meet eligible guys these days. Plus so many of my friends have done it so I'm not too ashamed... TOO. I've been messaged quite a few times, but majority of the people on these sites are either A. Creeps or B. Just looking for a hook up and I'm not down for any of that. So needless to say it's been... interesting. But I did meet one guy and we even have mutual friends so I'm hoping that the coffee date we go on won't be a total disaster. I know my Mom is concerned, and trust me, I am too, but my friend is working at this coffee house and will be there when we meet so if I need real serious rescue, she will be there to save me.
So let's just see what kind of crazy thing life hands me next. I'm ready to start really putting effort into this blog and seeing what kind of creative outlet it can be for me.
Until next time!
xx
4.23.2013
4.05.2013
SO IT'S BEEN, LIKE, TWO MONTHS
Hey everyone!
When I started this blog a year ago, it was because I wanted to be the next Bri Emery. Yeah, I know - That bar is PRETTY HIGHLY SET. (But it's still a dream I am working towards.) But y'all, blogging is some seriously hard work. Hard work that I don't have the time for like I have always dreamed I would. Like Lexie said in her post, you have to be original and creative and just so OUT there that no one can miss or forget you. And with all that I say that although I'm not that person with blogging, I hope to be that person with everything else in my life.
Now, I know I left this blog with a bit of a sour and saddened tone when I posted last, but I'm glad to report that life as a whole is seriously turning around for me.
Exhibit A: School - I am graduating in less than a month. I am graduating. In less than a month. Less than a month. Graduating. Now that that has all sunken in... I'm still processing it. It's completely insane to think that I'll be considered a working-class adult in less than four weeks. Jeeze. Sometimes I feel like I just graduated Middle School so the fact that I'm about to be done with University is just ridiculous. But it gives me sincere hope for Exhibit B.
Exhibit B: I have my own small business (!!!!!) - Yes! I do! I like to consider myself smart-ish and I decided to open shop on a platform other than Etsy. If I had a dime for ever card or paper shop I saw on Etsy I wouldn't have to sell on Etsy because I would be able to retire and move to France. With that being said, I decided to sell on Storenvy. It's a free service and you can upload as many products on as you want! And did I mention it is free!? Because it is. I'm paying two dollars a month now for extended promotion offers like buy one, get one free, or free shipping. But you don't even have to do that! It's great! And you can even personalize your store unlike all the Etsy shops that look the exact same. WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID - My shop is a place of both single cards, and card collections. I'm definitely expanding in the future to have notepads, journals, calendars, etc. But for now that is all I have in there.
Exhibit C: I also do personalized things - I'm horribly busy making personalized invitations for both weddings and birthdays, as well as wedding programs. It's incredibly stressful, but just SO rewarding. There is nothing more rewarding than the smile that cross the faces of your clients when they genuinely love what I have poured my heart into. And that's what I try to do - focus all my intensive emotion into something that is truly worthwhile instead of pouring it all into Exhibit D.
Exhibit D: Men, or should I say Boys in Men's clothing - They truly mean it when they say that you won't find someone if you're lookin'. Well I said I wasn't going to pay any attention to guys anymore; that I was just going to design and live my life and focus on me. And here I am now with them just a crawlin' out of the woodworks. Exes, old guy-friends, new guys that are just jerks, exes that are still jerks. WHAT IS MY LIFE!? These boys and their games of waiting until you text them first or being sickly sweet and then mean so they can just break you and reglue you. Stupid. My game is making them think I care just oh-so-much when I'm really just forgetting them. (Somebody's gotta take these guys down a few notches).
Exhibit E: Cleaning out all the garbage in my life - People. People can either bring you down or lift you up and that's something I have really been struggling with realizing in my life. Especially the part where you have to trim those bringer-downers out of your life completely if you want to find happiness. It's hard but, as Carrie Underwood says, "Sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye." Amen, girl.
Well, my lanta, this post is absurd.
In closing, this Summer is going to be a time of serious adventures and excitement and I can't wait to live it! I'll be sharing it with you for sure so don't give up on me quite yet!
Thank you for reading that entire post about my nonsensical life!
When I started this blog a year ago, it was because I wanted to be the next Bri Emery. Yeah, I know - That bar is PRETTY HIGHLY SET. (But it's still a dream I am working towards.) But y'all, blogging is some seriously hard work. Hard work that I don't have the time for like I have always dreamed I would. Like Lexie said in her post, you have to be original and creative and just so OUT there that no one can miss or forget you. And with all that I say that although I'm not that person with blogging, I hope to be that person with everything else in my life.
Now, I know I left this blog with a bit of a sour and saddened tone when I posted last, but I'm glad to report that life as a whole is seriously turning around for me.
Exhibit A: School - I am graduating in less than a month. I am graduating. In less than a month. Less than a month. Graduating. Now that that has all sunken in... I'm still processing it. It's completely insane to think that I'll be considered a working-class adult in less than four weeks. Jeeze. Sometimes I feel like I just graduated Middle School so the fact that I'm about to be done with University is just ridiculous. But it gives me sincere hope for Exhibit B.
Exhibit B: I have my own small business (!!!!!) - Yes! I do! I like to consider myself smart-ish and I decided to open shop on a platform other than Etsy. If I had a dime for ever card or paper shop I saw on Etsy I wouldn't have to sell on Etsy because I would be able to retire and move to France. With that being said, I decided to sell on Storenvy. It's a free service and you can upload as many products on as you want! And did I mention it is free!? Because it is. I'm paying two dollars a month now for extended promotion offers like buy one, get one free, or free shipping. But you don't even have to do that! It's great! And you can even personalize your store unlike all the Etsy shops that look the exact same. WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID - My shop is a place of both single cards, and card collections. I'm definitely expanding in the future to have notepads, journals, calendars, etc. But for now that is all I have in there.
Exhibit C: I also do personalized things - I'm horribly busy making personalized invitations for both weddings and birthdays, as well as wedding programs. It's incredibly stressful, but just SO rewarding. There is nothing more rewarding than the smile that cross the faces of your clients when they genuinely love what I have poured my heart into. And that's what I try to do - focus all my intensive emotion into something that is truly worthwhile instead of pouring it all into Exhibit D.
Exhibit D: Men, or should I say Boys in Men's clothing - They truly mean it when they say that you won't find someone if you're lookin'. Well I said I wasn't going to pay any attention to guys anymore; that I was just going to design and live my life and focus on me. And here I am now with them just a crawlin' out of the woodworks. Exes, old guy-friends, new guys that are just jerks, exes that are still jerks. WHAT IS MY LIFE!? These boys and their games of waiting until you text them first or being sickly sweet and then mean so they can just break you and reglue you. Stupid. My game is making them think I care just oh-so-much when I'm really just forgetting them. (Somebody's gotta take these guys down a few notches).
Exhibit E: Cleaning out all the garbage in my life - People. People can either bring you down or lift you up and that's something I have really been struggling with realizing in my life. Especially the part where you have to trim those bringer-downers out of your life completely if you want to find happiness. It's hard but, as Carrie Underwood says, "Sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye." Amen, girl.
Well, my lanta, this post is absurd.
In closing, this Summer is going to be a time of serious adventures and excitement and I can't wait to live it! I'll be sharing it with you for sure so don't give up on me quite yet!
Thank you for reading that entire post about my nonsensical life!
2.11.2013
GROWING UP TAYLOR
Hello, my name is Taylor and I am a coward.
I know this because I have spent a great many days of my life running from things. People, places, opportunities, situations. You name it, I have probably avoided it.
I can tell you about my childhood and all the things about me that have caused this character-trait. I could even lay on a white sofa and let you analyze me. But it's not worth it because it won't change everything I have or haven't done. Truth be told, I had a very flourishing and wholesome childhood and my family is a blessing I often times take for granted.
But they're not why I have such an issue with turning away from things.
I honestly don't know what is the reason for why I am the way I am, I just... am.
It's the same song and dance:
- Meet friend
- Leech onto friend
- Have one disagreement with friend
- Never speak to friend again
As you can see, I am quite ridiculous. And as a disclaimer this isn't some portal of pity but a declaration that I know what my issues are and I'm slowly trying to work through them in private and in public.
You see, I have loved and lost so many times in my life. Both with friends and boyfriends. It's usually an infatuation or a fascination, but when it happens, it is strong and overwhelming and sometimes, all-consuming. I guess these can be great traits, but I set the bar so high for everyone I meet that I also set them up for failure. The sad part is that it wasn't until recently that I discovered this. And I feel that it's too late to mend things I have done in the past that are unchangeable.
People that I have ended relations with sincerely hate me. I mean it. Hate. Yes, it's a strong word, but it is what it is. They are fake and callous and hateful. But I really don't blame them because I am the same way to them. I'm resentful, embarrassed, and annoyed.
When a situation goes the least bit south, I am out of there and there is no stopping me. I can't pretend that I haven't been done wrong because my Momma will tell you I sure have. But let's be honest, not everything is a one-way street.
Only two people in my life have solidly stuck with me through arguments, weeks of not speaking, and childish acts that should only occur on a playground. They love me for me and they know all my flaws and accept them. I do them wrong endlessly; ditch them, don't call, forget their birthday. But they still stick around and although I take them for granted, it's the darkest times of the night and the most shadowy times of the afternoon that I am reminded that they are always there and will never leave me. They know I still compare every boy that shows the vaguest interest in me to that boy that broke my heart into pieces years ago. They know that I'm so insecure and scared that it paralyzes me at times. They know that I would rather stay in and watch a movie than go out and party on my twenty-first birthday and they go buy the jiffy pop. They are lovely and wonderful and I tell them that all the time because they deserve to be told.
What I'm trying to say is that I am ready to accept that I have a lot of things to work on. I need to let go of those people, places, opportunities, and situations that I pressed out of my life and make way for new ones. I need to accept that not everyone is who I want them to be and that I need to just get over that. I also need to stop comparing my life and dreams and success to others' because I will never be happy if I continue down that trail. I'm also saying that I don't know if I will be placing myself in many social situations because I want to be the most me I need to be before I bring more people into my life. If I need to focus on my career goals and family and finally growing up then that's what I need to do. I have to stop worrying about everyone else all the time and then I believe that I will finally let people in and embrace them the way they should be embraced: With a full heart and a quiet spirit.
I know this because I have spent a great many days of my life running from things. People, places, opportunities, situations. You name it, I have probably avoided it.
I can tell you about my childhood and all the things about me that have caused this character-trait. I could even lay on a white sofa and let you analyze me. But it's not worth it because it won't change everything I have or haven't done. Truth be told, I had a very flourishing and wholesome childhood and my family is a blessing I often times take for granted.
But they're not why I have such an issue with turning away from things.
I honestly don't know what is the reason for why I am the way I am, I just... am.
It's the same song and dance:
- Meet friend
- Leech onto friend
- Have one disagreement with friend
- Never speak to friend again
As you can see, I am quite ridiculous. And as a disclaimer this isn't some portal of pity but a declaration that I know what my issues are and I'm slowly trying to work through them in private and in public.
You see, I have loved and lost so many times in my life. Both with friends and boyfriends. It's usually an infatuation or a fascination, but when it happens, it is strong and overwhelming and sometimes, all-consuming. I guess these can be great traits, but I set the bar so high for everyone I meet that I also set them up for failure. The sad part is that it wasn't until recently that I discovered this. And I feel that it's too late to mend things I have done in the past that are unchangeable.
People that I have ended relations with sincerely hate me. I mean it. Hate. Yes, it's a strong word, but it is what it is. They are fake and callous and hateful. But I really don't blame them because I am the same way to them. I'm resentful, embarrassed, and annoyed.
When a situation goes the least bit south, I am out of there and there is no stopping me. I can't pretend that I haven't been done wrong because my Momma will tell you I sure have. But let's be honest, not everything is a one-way street.
Only two people in my life have solidly stuck with me through arguments, weeks of not speaking, and childish acts that should only occur on a playground. They love me for me and they know all my flaws and accept them. I do them wrong endlessly; ditch them, don't call, forget their birthday. But they still stick around and although I take them for granted, it's the darkest times of the night and the most shadowy times of the afternoon that I am reminded that they are always there and will never leave me. They know I still compare every boy that shows the vaguest interest in me to that boy that broke my heart into pieces years ago. They know that I'm so insecure and scared that it paralyzes me at times. They know that I would rather stay in and watch a movie than go out and party on my twenty-first birthday and they go buy the jiffy pop. They are lovely and wonderful and I tell them that all the time because they deserve to be told.
What I'm trying to say is that I am ready to accept that I have a lot of things to work on. I need to let go of those people, places, opportunities, and situations that I pressed out of my life and make way for new ones. I need to accept that not everyone is who I want them to be and that I need to just get over that. I also need to stop comparing my life and dreams and success to others' because I will never be happy if I continue down that trail. I'm also saying that I don't know if I will be placing myself in many social situations because I want to be the most me I need to be before I bring more people into my life. If I need to focus on my career goals and family and finally growing up then that's what I need to do. I have to stop worrying about everyone else all the time and then I believe that I will finally let people in and embrace them the way they should be embraced: With a full heart and a quiet spirit.
1.14.2013
MUSIC MONDAY : EDITION 1
Welcome to Music Monday!
I, like everyone else on this planet, love good music. Everything from the music that makes me what to rip my heart out from all the feelings, or makes me what to dance on tabletops! It's all there and it's close to my heart.
I've made this little nine track list of some favorites that have been on constant replay either on my Spotify, in my car, or in my room blaring from my iPod. I hope you either discover, or rediscover, some favorites here every Monday!
Here it goes:
I, like everyone else on this planet, love good music. Everything from the music that makes me what to rip my heart out from all the feelings, or makes me what to dance on tabletops! It's all there and it's close to my heart.
I've made this little nine track list of some favorites that have been on constant replay either on my Spotify, in my car, or in my room blaring from my iPod. I hope you either discover, or rediscover, some favorites here every Monday!
Here it goes:
---
Track List:
1. I'll Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
2. One More Night - Alex Goot and Friends
3. It's Time - Imagine Dragons
4. California - Phantom Planet
5. Dancing in the Moonlight
6. Anything Could Happen - Ellie Goulding
7. Ho Hey - The Lumineers
8. New Shoes - Paolo Nutini
9. Wild World - Cat Stevens
1.13.2013
HELLO NEW SHOES, BYE-BYE BLUES!
Alright, I'm ready to get this show going.
The show is my blog.
I apologize for my extended absence that almost made it to two months! My goodness!
Although I would love to tell you all the crazy reasons I haven't been able to keep up with my commitment, I don't find it necessary People get busy, and since this isn't my career it's not my first priority. But I'm hoping to set it in the top 10.
So how was everyone's Christmases? New Years? Mine was just wonderful! It was a bit over-whelming thinking that it was my last "Christmas Break" I'll ever have, but it made me Carpe Diem every moment I could.
I spent majority of my break reflecting on life and all the ways I can improve it, and I have to say I'm feeling like an overall better version of myself than I have been in years. I decided that I am going to stop complaining about the things in my life and FIX them instead! These include negativity, not dressing like I'm twenty-two, and crowding my life with useless belongings. Of course there are some other things I have on my list, but it will reveal itself in due time.
I've updated Petite Satchel's look a bit and I'll continue to tweak it for the next week or so. I'm just hoping to find my voice in the blogging world and let it be prominent and known.
All in all, I feel endlessly great about this year and I intend to take full advantage of it and all it has to offer!
Cheers to a new beginning here on Petite Satchel with hopeful content, visuals, and endless joy!
The show is my blog.
I apologize for my extended absence that almost made it to two months! My goodness!
Although I would love to tell you all the crazy reasons I haven't been able to keep up with my commitment, I don't find it necessary People get busy, and since this isn't my career it's not my first priority. But I'm hoping to set it in the top 10.
So how was everyone's Christmases? New Years? Mine was just wonderful! It was a bit over-whelming thinking that it was my last "Christmas Break" I'll ever have, but it made me Carpe Diem every moment I could.
I spent majority of my break reflecting on life and all the ways I can improve it, and I have to say I'm feeling like an overall better version of myself than I have been in years. I decided that I am going to stop complaining about the things in my life and FIX them instead! These include negativity, not dressing like I'm twenty-two, and crowding my life with useless belongings. Of course there are some other things I have on my list, but it will reveal itself in due time.
I've updated Petite Satchel's look a bit and I'll continue to tweak it for the next week or so. I'm just hoping to find my voice in the blogging world and let it be prominent and known.
All in all, I feel endlessly great about this year and I intend to take full advantage of it and all it has to offer!
Cheers to a new beginning here on Petite Satchel with hopeful content, visuals, and endless joy!
1.09.2013
ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN
With new years come goals, resolutions, hopes for a brighter, better 365 days. I wouldn't be American, or even human, if I didn't have some of my own resolutions. Here are a few:
1. Travel.
2. Live a more positive life.
3. Simplify my possessions.
4. Dress for absolute success.
5. Stop being so inappropriate (Well, not as inappropriate. Still need some spice every once in a while.)
6. Get all my ducks in an order.
7. Move past all the bits of my past that still stand in my way.
8. Live for myself instead of others.
9. Confidence, Cohen. (Total O.C. reference, but appropriate for the situation.)
10. Enjoy the last six months of being twenty-two, and relish in the first six months of being twenty-three.
Life may never be this good again. I know it's such a dark clouded thing to think about, but it's true. It's always good to have these to-do lists and plans, but seriously, life is about more than steps and tasks, it's about LIVING. We aren't getting any younger and it's true that youth is wasted on the young. Instead of constantly dwelling on your ten-year plan, focus on today. Carpe Diem and all that cliche crap. It's 2013 ladies and gentlemen!
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