CLARITY

Designin' Away [excuse the horrible phone camera quality]

It is a quiet Tuesday morning and I am sitting here drinking a cup of 1 parts chocolate to 2 parts white milk, and eating a nice blueberry bagel and just thinking about how much better life is than I ever thought possible. I was never a good student, especially in High School. To me, getting a C or a D was like any other person getting an A or a B. It was worth celebrating! Obviously my parents didn't think so, but I figured it was all I was worthy of and that trying harder wasn't worth it. So I continued my bad academic habits into my first year and a half of college and was miserable. On top of being in a sorority and having the fear of them finding out and kicking me out, I also lived with the fear of oblivion. Was I really only going to make C's and D's for the rest of my days? Living a mediocre life and just getting by by the skin of my teeth?
After a lot of internal conflict I decided to take a semester off to "find myself". Although I mostly "found myself" working a lot, I also found my inner voice that said I was better than all of this and better than what I had given myself. I became ashamed of my bad habits and promised myself I would want more for me and my life than I ever had. I took my Father's advice [which had been offered to me before starting at my first school] and checked out the school I am at now. I will admit, I was a bit skeptical. Even after meeting one of my professors I thought I wasn't going to be good enough for this program... "ME a GRAPHIC DESIGNER?! Get out of town!" Then I had a tour of the facilities, met my other professor, and I realized "Yeah, Taylor. You. A potential Graphic Designer. Suck. It. Up."
Here I am a year and a half later: It's hard. So so hard. I am creatively, mentally, and sometimes physically, pushed to the edge just about everyday at school. But it's so worth it. I want things for me and my life that I never thought possible. I want to get out of this town, have a big career. I don't even want to think about getting married until I am at least Twenty-Five. I want to travel the world, live with friends and someday on my own, I want to live my life. And I am beyond glad to say that I really do see that and all those goals in reach.
I am eleven months from graduating. Eleven. I am so scared, and yet, so excited. Oh gosh, but anyway, what I want you to take from this story is that life is there. It's waiting. You don't have to get your dream job tomorrow, but it is still there, over the horizon. You just have to want it and go get it. And then you'll be on your way.
And you gotta try this chocolate milk, it's devine.